Walking Home
9 05 2008
At intersections
people gather
to await the light
The pauses
are ours
and each signal
releases us
in choreography
like tides
the flow of bodies
like tides
if we could set them
to obey moons
of our own
invention.
Joe Felso: Ruminations
Thoughts On All Things Average
nice observation/well done
Thanks. I started to write another haiku sonnet, but this poem insisted on its own form—mostly pictures. —D
Yeah, that’s a cool moving pictures poem, really lets go of the energy thru the middle there, I am glad to see you moving away from the strictures and discipline of invented forms into a place where the energy of the poem defines its structure rather than the other way round, cool,
Yes, I probably should let poems determine their own form more. I’m going to work on that for a while—until I lose track of economy and need to tighten up again —D
The analogy of the streetlight with the moon and it pulling us into motion like the moon does the tides is lovely. This is a perfect poem. I like how you grouped the second and third haiku stanza into an extended one - it fools around with time nicely. G
A perfect poem? No, I’ve never written one, but I wanted to create something like a tide, folding back on itself, some movement in approach instead of content. Thanks for the compliment though. —D
Interesting juxtaposition of traffic and mechanical life with bodies, the tide, and the moon. Yet the poem ends with humans wanting to invent their own moon. We long to be individuals, a unique voice. Very nice poem. Delicate touch, as usual.
Thank you. Someday, I’d like to shed my delicate touch and write a rushing, roaring poem. But I wonder if that’s in me. —D